How many of you have ever felt like you didn't belong?

I can remember a time when I was 8 years old and challenged a 10-year-old named Thad to a one-on-one basketball game. As I drove down the lane for a layup, he body-checked me with his shoulder, leaving a 5-inch gash on my right elbow as I crashed to the pavement.

He looked at me and sneered: "Where were you trying to go, you blind bat? I could blind you with dental floss."

That was the first time I became aware that I, as an Asian-American, looked completely different from all of my white classmates at this Atlanta private school. It made me think that maybe I didn't belong.

 

The next morning, my mother called me to get ready for school. I locked my door, buried my head under the bed sheets, and drew all over my arms with white crayons. I didn't want anyone to see me.

That feeling stayed with me for almost a decade.

It wasn't until I was 18, coaching younger kids in table tennis and tutoring high school students on their SATs, that things changed. Watching my students grow gave me purpose. It helped me turn those dark inward thoughts about things I couldn't control into outward thoughts about things I could.

That's what motivated me to become a speaking coach today.

Did you notice what I just did?

I opened with a yes/no question ("How many of you have ever felt like you didn't belong?"). Then I segued into a story. I gave you the takeaway (reframing struggle as purpose). And now I'm about to give you a call to action: learn this framework.

This 4-part structure took me 5 years to develop after studying hundreds of TED Talks, practicing myself, and coaching hundreds of people around the world. It's the same framework that helped me grow from 3,000 to 400,000 followers on TikTok and 300,000 on Instagram.

Let me break each part down.

Part 1: The Yes/No Question

This is the first thing you say. A simple question that prompts your audience to emphatically say yes or no.

Why does this work? People who are actively engaged and responsive are more attentive than those who are just listening.

The formula: "How many of you [blank]?"

A few categories that work:

• Commonly held belief: "How many of you believe playing sports is good for your kids' health?"

• Relatable pain: "How many of you have ever gotten nervous delivering a speech?"

• Common action: "How many of you graduated from a four-year college?"

• Common origin: "How many of you came to this conference from the United States?"

The key: You want the vast majority to answer the same way. And you want them wondering, "Why did he ask that?"

Part 2: Segue to the Story (The SPAT Framework)

Your story answers why you asked that question. I use SPAT:

S - Scene: Transport them to a specific moment.

• "I can remember a time when..."

• "When I was [age/time period]..."

• "Imagine..."

P - Problem: Describe the challenge your hero faces. Use a specific detail or quote, then describe the impact.

A - Aggravate: Make the problem hurt. Show why it was emotionally painful, what negative outcome happened, and how long it lasted.

T - Turnaround: How did the hero overcome it? Lead this to the present day and why you're speaking to this audience now.

 

Part 3: The Key Takeaway

Make it clear what benefit your audience gets from the story.

In my case: "You probably have your own mental block from a traumatic past preventing you from being your best self. Reframing my struggle as my purpose helped me love myself again. I'd love for you to do the same." 

This is my favorite framework to ensure that you're speech helps your audience achieve the transformation that you intend. 

Part 4: The Call to Action

Request one thing. Simple. The CTA answers: "How can I apply that takeaway?"

Example: "The next time you have 5 minutes, write down one sentence describing what you want in life and why you want it. Rank your top five. Iterate with people who know you well."

The Framework In Action

To nail your presentation: Hook them with a yes/no question. Keep them engaged with SPAT. Make it relevant with a clear takeaway. Then give them one action to take.

There's no one right way to do this. But this four-part intro has done wonders throughout my career.

Now it's your turn.

Preston